UGG boots are ugly and other reasons you look ridiculous

Yay, we've finally made it to the best column of the year — the bad campus fashion column. Writing this column is a tradition (one that I hope my successor continues) that I started one year ago when I noticed that despite all of the smarties that go to school here, bad fashion is extremely prevalent on campus. And, as someone who is desperate to stop the madness, I took matters into my own hands and decided to speak out against fashion crimes that are being committed on an almost daily basis.

Now, I must warn you that I have only had two classes this semester (shut up, you can do it too your senior year) so I haven't been around campus as much as I have in the past.

But these fashion atrocities are so hideous that after only one look, my poor retinas burned and my brain was forever seared with images of pure disgustingness.

Be warned, all of you who read this: there are those among you who will think, 'Hey! Why is ______ on the list. It is so totally cute and I wear it to class, to the bars and even to bed. Colleen is stupid and will never write for Vogue.'

But you should know that while a lot of this is solely based on personal — albeit genius — opinion, a lot of it is not and people are probably making fun of your clothes.

Just because Forever 21 carries it does not make it fashionable, or, as my friend Lauren likes to say, "Forever 21 is where high fashion goes to die." That said, let's see who's being good and who needs to flip through Harper's Bazaar.

Awful trend one: UGG Boots

OK people. I told you last year that UGGs were awful and ugly and not to be worn with shorts and/or skirts. But did you listen? NO. For some reason, people are still wearing UGGs and strutting around like they're wearing Christian Louboutins. May I remind you that you aren't and you probably bought your UGGs not because they are comfy and easy to wear, but because everyone and their sorority sister has them. Let's try to be a little unique people.

Trend two: Coach

Sigh. My problem with Coach is that, like UGG Boots, everyone has a Coach purse. I think you should know that all your purse tells me is that you spent a couple hundred to look exactly like everyone else. I mean, if you want a designer, at least go for someone a little more unique. That does not include Dooney and Bourke, Kate Spade or Juicy Couture.

Trend three: Leggings

All right, I am so sick of leggings. Very few people can pull them off and, for some reason, girls think that it is acceptable to wear them as pants. You can't wear a short shirt and then leggings, ladies. I've already warned you of the dangers of camel-toe, but apparently some of you didn't listen. Nobody wants to see that.

Trend four: boobs hanging out

(Sorry guys, but it's really not an appropriate day look. Come to think of it, it's only an appropriate in-the-bedroom look.) As the weather has gotten nicer, everyone has come out to play. And by everyone, I mean boobs, because apparently hot weather equals low-cut shirts without bras. Ladies, going braless is not a good look and only women with extremely small boobs can pull it off. It boggles my mind to try to ascertain why so many women don't want their boobs to look super perky.

Also, intense cleavage is not at all appropriate for class. I mean, I'm straight and if your boobs are distracting to me, imagine what they're doing to those poor souls with a Y-chromosome.

Trend five: Jumpers

Now this is one that fashion magazines actually advocate wearing, and yeah, they can look super great on 6-foot tall amazons who possess the legs of a racehorse, but they don't look good on average people. And all it tells me is that you were too lazy to put on both a top and a bottom, yet for some reason, you still wanted to look as if you were wearing separate pieces.

Trend six: formal shorts with tights

These are just ridiculous. The same way that Speidi is ridiculous. There really isn't a reason other than it's just stupid.

Colleen is a senior in Media who is ready for all of you self-proclaimed fashionistas to bring it on (yeah, you girl who thinks Vogue said that UGGs were in fashion. Please. It's freaking Vogue.) She can be reached at features@dailyillini.com