New Moon: Team Edward, Team Jacob, or neither?

The (mostly) good: Kelly Gustafson

On a campus this size, with more than 15,000 undergraduate women, it’s hard to escape talk of what team people are on. No, this is not Team Aniston or Team Jolie, and if you don’t know what I am referring to, you are oblivious to the cultural phenomenon that is “Twilight”.

So much so that Volvo launched an ad campaign recently launching the Web site whatdrivesedward.com. Throughout the book series and both movies, Edward Cullen, the epitome of every teenage girl’s perfect boyfriend, drives a shiny silver Volvo, creating free advertising for the Swedish carmaker and adding opportunities to play off of this marketing device.

So when “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” opened on Nov. 20, being a twenty-something girl who read the books obsessively, I was at the midnight showing, along with hundreds of other college girls, and surprisingly, many moms. Apart from the only males in the audience who were obviously dragged to the theatres by their vampire-crazed girlfriends, every theatre was packed with girls who had chosen distinctive “sides”.

Team Edward or Team Jacob.

The second installment of the saga was infinitely better than the first. A new director, Chris Weitz, an increased budget, better special effects, and improved cinematography all made the film’s sometimes cheesy script flow smoother. Also, the sequel has the advantage of having the first movie to lay the necessary groundwork and build character development, allowing for the “New Moon” chapter to start right away, without repeating what fans already know.

The enhanced results of the second film can also be attributed to the fact that the stakes were raised for the actors in the film. An increased budget meant that Summit Studio expected a lot more out of the previously-unknown actors. Taylor Lautner, who plays the character of Jacob Black, had to gain 30 pounds and then audition for a role he had played in the first movie.

Jacob’s character also contributed to a better movie experience. And not because he’s 200 pounds of tan, muscular 17 year-old. No, really. His character just seems much warmer (108 degrees warmer), and more attainable than Edward’s character. Yes, Edward appears god-like at times, but that just makes him that much less realistic. The development of Jacob’s character in the movie brought out the best of both Lautner and Kristen Stewart, who plays the character of Bella Swan.

Stewart’s acting is so hot and cold that it’s hard to peg her down, but the “New Moon” film made it clear that her strengths lie in her ability to overact. The chemistry she has with both Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward, and Lautner is also vital, and scenes with either of them are usually flawless.

The one fatal flaw I found in the second movie was similar to the flaw that majorly disappointed me with the first: Pattinson’s inability to successfully master a believable American accent. Seriously, you’re famous now. Spend the extra money and hire Tim Monich to be your dialect coach. Minor, yes, but it takes away from what Edward is supposed to be. Capturing the true essence of the books is a daunting task, but it’s do-able.

I would definitely see the film again. No matter its flaws, it’s undeniable the impact that “Twilight” has had on our pop culture. It has defined an era, with vampire spoofs spinning off “faster than pink eye spreading in a preschool”.

The (mostly) bad: Matt Emmons

Last Friday night found me at home with nothing to do. My friends were all gone for Thanksgiving and I had absolutely no way of entertaining myself. This is the only situation capable of spawning my dive in to the murky waters of the Twilight phenomenon. I went by myself to see New Moon. And not even to pick up girls (which I hear is pretty easy to do at these things).

Let me begin by saying that I’ve never read any of the books in the series. I did not see the first movie. All I really know about Twilight is that Robert Pattinson’s six pack is fake and Taylor Lautner was Sharkboy, so you’re not going to hear any “well the movie was pretty good, but it’s nothing like the books” from me.

There’s not much to say but that New Moon was hard to watch. Whether it’s the repeated appearance of a cameraman in the mirror during a time lapse sequence or the entire theater laughing when Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) tells a vampire that “things are going to get ugly,” the entire production comes off as almost comical. When the protagonist, Bella Swan *groans at name*, hits her head riding a dirt bike in an effort to make a mental projection of Edward Cullen appear, Jacob rips his shirt off to mop up her blood. He remains shirtless for the rest of the movie. Sometimes he even has a reason to be shirtless. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an offensive amount of chest heaving in a movie. It’s like no one ever catches their breath.

I spent most of the movie trying to figure out when vampires lost their signature fangs, became vegetarians and began showing up in photographs. I spent the remainder of the movie trying to decide at what point werewolves attained the ability to transform at will. I guess that whole “full moon” business is right out the window.

Also, the thought occurs: a beautiful girl whose name begins with “Bell” falls in love with a monster that turns out to be gentle. We’re one talking French candlestick named Lumiere away from being Beauty and the Beast, aren’t we?

I’m going to end with the positive point. THE positive point. The soundtrack was good. New Moon features tracks from the likes of Muse, OK Go, Thom Yorke, and Death Cab for Cutie. I only question how so many well respected artists were coerced in to appearing in such a mockery of a film. Maybe Muse’s Matt Bellamy thought the film was a sort of vampire awareness public service announcement. That seems like the sort of thing he’d do.

If you’re a fan of the Twilight series of novels, then you’re obviously going to want to see New Moon because you’ve already been hoodwinked. If you’ve not read the books, or think the entire thing is a joke, then stay far FAR away.