During last semester's immigration protests in Champaign, the migrant community wanted to be accepted as Americans and treated as equals. The United States Senate has gone well above and beyond anything they asked for.

The Senate bill will not only grant amnesty, it will actually reward immigrants for braving the desert illegally. Far from being treated as the equals of Americans or legal immigrants, the package offered to them surpasses even the rights and privileges enjoyed by citizens who have lived here for decades.

First, under the bill, illegal immigrants will need to pay three out of the last five years of back taxes to the government. Or, to put it another way, every illegal immigrant gets a two-year break from paying taxes.

Second, the bill would require that they are paid the "prevailing wage" (much higher than minimum wage) for agricultural work. Also, they are granted job protection measures in federal law far beyond what is available to normal Americans and legal immigrants who can be fired for any reason or no reason at all.

Third, they can be paid Social Security benefits based on their employment in the United States while using forged Social Security numbers. With 40 million people having used the Social Security number 000-00-0000, it is clear this measure will generate massive fraud and accelerate the bankruptcy of Social Security.

Many pundits have complained that the proposal to lavish money on illegal immigrants is pandering at its worst. However, instead of complaining about legislators trying to buy new voters, there is a far better solution to this congressional excess. Become an illegal immigrant, too.

Here's how: Take a vacation to Mexico and stop by a U.S. embassy there. Renounce your citizenship and give them your passport. Then travel back to the United States using your driver's license or birth certificate. Congratulations, you are now an illegal immigrant - your La Raza membership card is in the mail.

To take advantage of the two-year tax holiday, return to your job and get a new W-4. In box 7, write "exempt." Do the same for your Illinois W-4. This will stop all tax withholding from your paycheck. Alternatively, get your employer to pay you on a 1099, which has no tax or other withholding. Stop filing tax returns.

Then apply for the amnesty program which will require you to pay back taxes for three of the last five years (which you've already paid). You have now legally evaded taxes for two years.

Now, as an illegal immigrant from Mexico, you can demand affirmative action to get into grad school ahead of those equally qualified (or even a little more qualified). Out-of-state students take note; you can now demand in-state tuition.

Some might say this is cheating the system. I say it is demanding your fair share. The defining image of this nation is an outstretched hand waiting to be paid. It's time we all cash in on the entitlement culture before the government's checks start to bounce.