Police officers in Mich. protect, serve with doughnuts

CLARE, Mich. — "Cops & Doughnuts" is more than a punchline. It's now a bakery in Michigan — owned by nine full-time employees of the Clare Police Department.

The newly renamed bakery opened Wednesday, offering doughnuts, cookies, muffins, brownies and bread. It also has mugs and T-shirts bearing the "Cops & Doughnuts, 100 Percent Cop-Owned" logo, and phrases including "You Have the Right to Remain Glazed" and "Handcuffs and Cream Puffs."

Officer Al White says the officers were concerned when the Clare City Bakery's owners decided to throw in the towel. The 113-year-old bakery would have become the sixth empty storefront in Clare's three-block downtown.

The officers were on hand for the grand reopening but have hired a manager and will employ local students as staff.

Pachyderms outdo people in cross-species chow bout

NEW YORK — In the fight of pachyderms vs. people — the pachyderms now have the upper trunk.

Three circus elephants scored a decisive victory over three human competitive eaters at a cross-species eating contest Friday, chomping down on 505 hot dog buns in six minutes. The humans forced down only 143 buns in the bout at Brooklyn's Coney Island.

The elephants, Bunny, Susie and Minnie — all in their 40s — ate at what appeared to be a leisurely pace from behind a table piled high with buns. They even paused to eat some fresh fruit, which was not counted toward scoring.

Their human competitors were far more focused. Eric "Badlands" Booker, a New York City subway conductor who is the world champion in corned beef hash eating, took a double-fisted approach, dipping two buns at once into liquid to make them go down easier.

"We went all out, hungry and focused," said Booker, who like the others was preparing for Saturday's annual Fourth of July hot dog eating contest. Friday's match was sponsored by Major League Eating and Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey.

Contest organizers called the results a "setback for humanity," but the two sides may not have been fairly matched. The humans weigh about 500 pounds collectively, while the Asian elephants weigh about 9 tons, the organizers said.