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TechnographMascots battle it out in NCAA tournament of their own
By Frank Vanderwall
Posted: 3/14/07 Section: Columns
It's tourney time, baby! Once again I sat down to fill out my bracket, and I just couldn't get excited about the teams I had in the Final Four. Every year it seems like I have a couple No. 1s sprinkled in with a two and maybe a four seed. This year, I decided to do something a little different. I went through and researched the school mascots to see how they would match up in a one-on-one battle. The results were hilarious and quite entertaining. Here's how the mascot battle shook down.
Midwest
Maryland may have a turtle for a mascot, but he's a battler. He houses Davidson's Wildcat in the No. 4 vs. No. 13 matchup. The Gator, Boilermaker, Fighting Irishman, Red Hawk, Rebel and Badger also advance to the second round.
In the second round Florida's top-seeded Gator continues to roll, knocking off the Boilermaker. Maryland's Turtle approaches Teenage Mutant Ninja status as he advances to the Sweet 16 over Old Dominion's Lion. The 14th-seeded Red Hawk can't quite take down the Irishman as Notre Dame advances. In the biggest slaughter of the Midwest bracket, the UNLV Rebel turns the Badger into what he was made to be: road kill.
In the Sweet 16, the Gator chomps the Terrapin, and the Rebel takes care of the Irishman in what is literally a shootout. Fists versus guns never really stood a chance. Then, in the biggest upset since George Mason took down Connecticut, the on-fire No. 7-seeded Rebel knocks off the top-seeded Gator to advance to the Final four.
West
Kentucky faces off against 'Nova in a Wildcat battle, but 'Nova's cat is way cooler. I'll take him in the upset. Virginia Tech's Hokie is so lame I will take Illinois' non-existent mascot over him in a No. 12 over No. 5 upset. The Crusader, Blue Devil, Panther, Bulldog and Bruin also advance.
In the second round, the Jayhawk defeats the last remaining of five Wildcat's in the tourney. The Crusader takes a forfeit against the Illini because Illinois' mascot doesn't show up. The Blue Devil outsmarts the Pittsburgh Panther and the Bruins upend the Bulldogs.
Midwest
Maryland may have a turtle for a mascot, but he's a battler. He houses Davidson's Wildcat in the No. 4 vs. No. 13 matchup. The Gator, Boilermaker, Fighting Irishman, Red Hawk, Rebel and Badger also advance to the second round.
In the second round Florida's top-seeded Gator continues to roll, knocking off the Boilermaker. Maryland's Turtle approaches Teenage Mutant Ninja status as he advances to the Sweet 16 over Old Dominion's Lion. The 14th-seeded Red Hawk can't quite take down the Irishman as Notre Dame advances. In the biggest slaughter of the Midwest bracket, the UNLV Rebel turns the Badger into what he was made to be: road kill.
In the Sweet 16, the Gator chomps the Terrapin, and the Rebel takes care of the Irishman in what is literally a shootout. Fists versus guns never really stood a chance. Then, in the biggest upset since George Mason took down Connecticut, the on-fire No. 7-seeded Rebel knocks off the top-seeded Gator to advance to the Final four.
West
Kentucky faces off against 'Nova in a Wildcat battle, but 'Nova's cat is way cooler. I'll take him in the upset. Virginia Tech's Hokie is so lame I will take Illinois' non-existent mascot over him in a No. 12 over No. 5 upset. The Crusader, Blue Devil, Panther, Bulldog and Bruin also advance.
In the second round, the Jayhawk defeats the last remaining of five Wildcat's in the tourney. The Crusader takes a forfeit against the Illini because Illinois' mascot doesn't show up. The Blue Devil outsmarts the Pittsburgh Panther and the Bruins upend the Bulldogs.
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Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
WOW
posted 3/14/07 @ 1:03 AM CST
That was by far the worst column I've ever read. I want the last 2 minutes of my life back. Usually a column takes more than that long to read but your schizophrenic acid trip made me not want to watch the NCAA tournament. (Continued…)
Jack
posted 3/14/07 @ 7:38 PM CST
It's hard to read.
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