2008 Woodie Awards
Illini Media
WPGU
buzz
Illio
TechnographCOLUMN: After six years, Mom's Weekend getting old
By Scott Nathan Green
Posted: 4/8/08 Section: Mom's Day Guide 2008
Is your mother coming to visit you this weekend? Congratulations, you still have four days to move to a different address. Otherwise you will be subjected to a number of Mom's Weekend traditions that have happened every year for as long as anybody can remember. It's like the State of the Union address, only more boring.
This is my sixth year at Illinois, so I know all these traditions cold. Of course, now that I have them memorized, my parents no longer care enough to come to Champaign. I am forced to spend Mom's Weekend without anyone telling me how stupid my wardrobe is or badgering me because I never talk about girls. So basically, my weekend will be very enjoyable.
Not everyone can be so lucky. But even if your mother is able to track you down, you can still survive the weekend, especially if a recent medical condition has left you with legal access to painkillers.
No? OK, then you're going to have to deal with Mom's Weekend traditions, the first of which happens when your mother steps into your dorm room or apartment and takes a look around. She will develop the same look of disappointment she had the time in fourth grade when the principal called to tell her you wrote a very bad word on your teacher's forehead with a permanent marker. She reacts this way because of the mess, even though you spent ten whole minutes doing various cleaning-related activities, such as spreading empty pizza boxes around your carpet to cover assorted stains.
For those of you whose parents attended school here, or visited friends who went to Illinois, or once drove through Champaign on their way to a place that is actually worth visiting, you will also have to go on the "Memory Tour of Campus." This consists of two parts. The first part involves you sitting in the back of the car for 90 minutes while your mom tries to remember the location of her junior-year apartment. When she finally figures out the address, it will turn out to be down a complicated labyrinth of one-way streets, and the building will no longer be there. But you'll still get to hear the story about the time she stayed up until 1 a.m. watching television. Those were crazy times.
This is my sixth year at Illinois, so I know all these traditions cold. Of course, now that I have them memorized, my parents no longer care enough to come to Champaign. I am forced to spend Mom's Weekend without anyone telling me how stupid my wardrobe is or badgering me because I never talk about girls. So basically, my weekend will be very enjoyable.
Not everyone can be so lucky. But even if your mother is able to track you down, you can still survive the weekend, especially if a recent medical condition has left you with legal access to painkillers.
No? OK, then you're going to have to deal with Mom's Weekend traditions, the first of which happens when your mother steps into your dorm room or apartment and takes a look around. She will develop the same look of disappointment she had the time in fourth grade when the principal called to tell her you wrote a very bad word on your teacher's forehead with a permanent marker. She reacts this way because of the mess, even though you spent ten whole minutes doing various cleaning-related activities, such as spreading empty pizza boxes around your carpet to cover assorted stains.
For those of you whose parents attended school here, or visited friends who went to Illinois, or once drove through Champaign on their way to a place that is actually worth visiting, you will also have to go on the "Memory Tour of Campus." This consists of two parts. The first part involves you sitting in the back of the car for 90 minutes while your mom tries to remember the location of her junior-year apartment. When she finally figures out the address, it will turn out to be down a complicated labyrinth of one-way streets, and the building will no longer be there. But you'll still get to hear the story about the time she stayed up until 1 a.m. watching television. Those were crazy times.
The Daily Illini encourages on-topic discussion through article commenting on its articles and blogs. It is our policy not to delete any comments based upon political or ideological point of view. However, we reserve the right to remove comments that are abusive, off-topic or use excessive foul language.
The posting of copyrighted material, including any and all content for which you are not the author, is illegal under Federal intellectual property laws. Such activity will not be tolerated. Comments containing copyrighted material will be removed, and continued violation of copyright law is grounds for being banned completely from commenting on DailyIllini.com.
If you feel any post meets these conditions or merits review, please e-mail our editors at meonline@dailyillini.com.
Be the first to comment on this story