Welcome to City Hall, where running this town happens

For the duration of our lives, my cousin Eddy’s family and mine have lived on the north side of Chicago, mere blocks from each other. His dad is a firefighter, mine worked at City Hall for 25 years. We went to the same grade school (St. Priscilla). We cut our athletic teeth at the same park (Shabbona).

Like normal little kids, we played with a toy McDonald’s kitchen, complete with aprons and plastic buns, patties, pickles and the like. Unlike normal kids, one of those play sessions ended in Eddy picking up and throwing the entire McDonald’s establishment at my face, leaving a scar on the outside of my left eye.

Eddy visited U of I last year. We bonded as normal, separated-by-a-year cousins would. One night, after a sizable amount of beverages, he turned to me and began to speak.

“You wanna know something funny?” he said.

I nodded. Why not? Chances were that, no matter what it was, at that point of the night, it would be hysterical.

“When we were kids ... Haha, this is weird to think now ... But when we were kids, I used to think,” he paused. I urged him to go on. “I used to think, well, you know how your dad worked at City Hall?”

I nodded again.

“Well, when I was younger I thought, you know, since your dad worked at City Hall and your last name and all, well,” he said. “I thought your dad was the mayor of Chicago.”

I’ve known this kid every day of his life.

Welcome to City Hall.

Top 10 preseason report

There’s a lot of rankings floating around out there, but here’s the ruling from City Hall.

1. Kansas — Big (Cole Aldrich) and small (Sherron Collins) leaders. Great freshman class. Freak athleticism. Token white shooters. Crazy-good depth. Expect a party on Mass St. in early April.

2. Purdue — Shocked, are you? The Boilers are my elite sleeper. People forget how good they should’ve been LAST year. And with no significant pieces leaving, their great junior class getting one year wiser and Robbie Hummel expected to be at 100 percent, expect to be reminded.

3. Texas — Depth reigns supreme for the Longhorns. Returning talent, incoming talent and one of the best freshmen in the country in Avery Bradley makes this the most talented Texas team ever.

4. Kentucky — Last week, I had Michigan State here. Then I saw freshman John Wall’s line in UK’s first exhibition game: 27 points (on 10-of-14 shooting), nine assists and four rebounds in 29 minutes. Sorry Sparty, you’re getting dropped.

5. Michigan State — The loss of center Goran Suton will be tough, but with Big Ten Player of the Year Kalin Lucas returning and Tom Izzo still manning the clipboard, the Spartans will be nipping at the Final Four once again.

6. Villanova — These Wildcats might be the toughest team to judge in the entire country. Led by Scottie Reynolds, this guard-heavy squad could finish anywhere from No. 3 to No. 15. Nothing would surprise me.

7. North Carolina — People have the Heels much higher than this. I’m not sure why. Sure, they’re loaded AGAIN, and Roy Williams is an excellent coach, but call me crazy to think it won’t be so easy to rebound from the loss of Tyler Hansbrough and Ty Lawson.

8. Butler — Lotta guys returning from a really good team last year. Just go with it.

9. Duke — I love Jon Scheyer, and Kyle Singler is a great college player, but the Blue Devils aren’t athletic enough to be a national power this season.

10. California — The Pac-10 blowsin basketball, and in a down year for UCLA, Cal will be the belle of the conference. And by “belle of the conference,” I mean they’ll get a No. 3 seed in the Big Dance and lose in the second round.

16. Illinois — Not since 2004-05 has there been more talent in Chambana. The emergence of Demetri McCamey, who I anticipate to be all-Big Ten, is a key here. Expect Bruce Weber to get the most out of his squad and reach the Sweet 16.

The Minutes

(Notes from the Mayor’s desk)

Coach of the Year: Matt Painter, Purdue — I’m expecting the Boilers to take a big jump this season, and the Paint Crew’s main man will be a key.

Player of the Year: Luke Harangody, Notre Dame — The 2008 Big East Player of the Year is a good season away from taking the all-time conference lead in both points and rebounds. His shot is ugly and his team isn’t great, but he’s undeniable.

Lame Duck: Jerry Wainwright, DePaul coach — For a Chicago-based, once-proud program, Wainwright has compiled a 52-72 record during his four years, including missing their own conference tournament twice. For the Blue Demons, the future begins when Wainwright is fired. Plus, he looks like Droopy Dog.

The Prediction

ILLINOIS (-25.5) over Southern Illinois Edwardsville
Because it’s too easy to pick these games without a spread and because our deadline doesn’t always meet Vegas’ time frame, my editors set this line. When I heard the line and was told SIUE had been beaten by Illinois College already this season, my first thought was, “What the hell is Illinois College?” I think that’s really all you need to know.
Illini by 30.

The corrupt alderman

Kelvin Sampson — For the inaugural award, I could think of nobody better than Cellvin. Sampson is currently an assistant coach for the Milwaukee Bucks, whose players he’s permitted to call at all hours of the night when he’s looking for someone to talk him to sleep.

Thanks for reading. You can’t fight City Hall.